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Thursday, March 22, 2018

& then we became four.

& then we became four!

today happen to be our fourth year wedding anniversary and I am just so thankful for my better half for journeying alongside with me all these years.
my rainbow baby 🌈

you are the most wonderful thing! you definitely have made 2017 a better year despite of everything that had happen.

#dayrepregnancy #dayremummies
Thank you everyone for the well wishes!
Being pregnant again after a loss was the hardest I would said.

The fear, the known and the unknown seemed to be repeating right in front of me again after a good six month of the previous pregnancy that I had.

I’m into my 15 weeks of pregnancy when this was written. I have yet to announce this little one to others unless people ask me about it? Don’t feel the urge unlike the first and second pregnancy where I was already planning what I want to do at week 13.
The anticipation, the excitement was there back then. But of course, I am still excited about this little rainbow baby that is growing inside of me!

I am not sure if is the fear of losing something that doesn’t motivate me to do anything? All I wanted is for this little one to come out safely and healthy in my arms are what matter the most to me now.

This precious gift from God is here to bring joy to us and also to everyone around us.
I have never been so frighten/fearful of going to the toilet in my life! Every tummy ache that I had, brings about scares to me, it must have been the bad experience that I had previously that contribute to this. The bleeding and old blood scares me too. I had my polyps removed and I shouldn’t be bleeding?

The slightest things makes me very paranoid. I am guilty of such and I ought to leave it into the hands of God.
Praying and writing makes me feel so much better, there isn’t much I can do except to commit everything and anything to him and only him.
This pregnancy I had been vomiting throughout and it didn’t stop even in second trimester. My appetite is not that great as well. Loaded myself with avocado? I supposed I need to eat more protein and healthier food. This little one is a “cheena” baby because I only want to eat home cooked Chinese food, hasn’t been eating western food ever since the last gathering that I had in Nov.
On the other hand, Little LX has been behaving really well, I love how she comes into my room every night before she sleeps to pray for the baby and proclaimed so loudly on how excited she is to be a big jie jie (sister). I couldn’t be happier that I am able to give her a playmate, someone whom she can share her growing up with and to do silly things together just like how we had our siblings to fall back on in time of trouble and to share happiness with.
That being said I am still going to capture some photo for the pregnancy announcement and probably a gender reveal with LX + maternity shoot? Mama here just love doing all sort of these which bring back memories when I see it. There isn’t much occasion for such too.

we love you! our rainbow baby!

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